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THE SUPPOSEDLY FUNNY STUFF:  The Pasta Under the Bedsheets ActivistsHave you ever searched for the perfect way to annoy people you know? Are you interested in pasta warfare? Would you like to know how to use innocent ingredients to brutally victimise people? Then you're a budding pasta under the bedsheets activist!.  How to eat a hamsterWhy is it that people don't know how to perform this simple and hugely benefitting task? Here, I show you how to gain maximum taste and minimum effort in scoffing those scrummy rodents! The Cult of BobThe Cult of Bob is my effort in creating a utopia, a happy friendly group of people, and a manically dangerous cult at the same time. The cult of Bob is growing, we are many, we are all Bob. You WILL join us. Beware of bovines!Cow's are evil and they're taking over the world! It's true I tells ya, it's all true! Read my account of the dangers of cows and you WILL believe! The leper files See the reason why this homepage was started - the tales of my pet lepers, teapot dwelling miniature donkeys and spam worshipping tribes, along with many other favourites such as the psychotic worms, anally abiding germs of justice, and exasperatingly panting pasta dishes. It'll change the way you look at things. The Dirty PORN link! I had to get my hit rate up for the page somehow, so have a look at this gorgeous naked female! OooOohH! Surprisingly, one of my most popular options.... Filthy homepage visitors! The wise words of the evil demonNow extra evil! Do you dare find out what terrifying message the demon has for YOU? The Big Black vortex of Doom that does nothing! The scariest thing you'll ever see, gaze into the terrifying horror that is the big black vortex of doom that sits there and does absolutely nothing. This is not suitable for people who are actually after something entertaining!  The questionnaire bitIt's funky, it's peachy, it wants to ask you things about fish, cheese and lepers, as well as the obvious questionnaire whatsits. Fill this in, aswell as the guestbook. It's fun, really. no, i swear. Honest Merv, that's what they call me. Yup. The hypnotic suggestion pageThinking of leaving my page to do something else? Don't like my page? Haven't fulfilled your duty as a visitor on my web page to the full? Then go to my hypnotic suggestion page, where i'll MAKE you want to do all these things! Punish me!Do you think I deserve a good slapping? Have I annoyed with with the cult of Bob? Have I irritated you with my antisocial loud headphones on the tube? Did I hurt your eyes or offend your sensible ways with the inanity of my page? Then get your own back - PUNISH ME!! THE MORE UNFUNNY STUFF: Lots of Waffle!My leetle page that lets me talk at you about anything that takes my fancy. One day it might contain interesting stuff, but don't hold your breath. Actually, how can you hold your breath? It would escape through your hands. What a stupid saying. This bit ws updated every month, but now it's not cos I can't be arsed. Hear me roar!I've taken down the personal section about me, cos it was old and I sound like a bad teenager in it, which I was. It'll be updated soon, in the meantime, check out what my horoscope says about me, with the sad and tackily titled "I am leo, hear me roar" section!  My Trapdoor pageTrapdoor! Anyone remember that? A brill kids programme from ye olden days when I was a nipper, and it's just suuuch a classic and not-quite-but-should-be-cult-programme! Go there, and learn what TV should be about. Wonderfully creative dittosYes, a scrum-diddly-umptious fest of pointess, yet creative poems, and the chance to show the world your hidden talent at bad rhymes. This is NOT serious poetry or anything brain hurting like that, and there's not one bit of goth poetry! Ain't that pleasant? The CinemaYay! Bored with all the stupid stuff on the page? Then indulge yourself with a nice bag of popcorn, and snuggle down in an uncomfy seat to watch my film, which isn't exactly in a film format, as that would take up too much webspace. So it's kinda unfilmish, whilst being filmish at the same time. Funky, no? The big lot of links Not just a small lot, but a rather big lot of links here folks! How good am I to you? Awards and WebringsJust like loads of the other stuff on this page, the awards and webrings used to be on the front page, and made it horrible to load up! So go have a gander at them here, if you want to be like me, and be in the same webrings and stuff, or want to marvel in awe at my wonderful homepage ability. But if you do, i'll consider you a weirdo. Back to the index pageChoose this link to go back to the main page, where you can choose to go to this link again! Hurrah! Therapy for bored idiots! The old guestbookSince the guestbook went KERPUTT, the old guestbook signings are here. Relive those classic jaffa cake debates, and be scared when you see the type of people I attract to my page, then realise you're one of them! Your life will be changed. You'll grow to love lepers and cheese alike and live in harmony with them. Maybe. |
